Where to start?

Ok here it goes.

So heres a bit of background. I am currently 19 years old, living at home, bored as hell, in an amazing relationship, and turning my life around. How am I turning it around you might ask, well lets dwell a little deeper. I am 19 and living at home not attending college, a little weird nowadays i guess but heres why, I was rejected.

When I was a freshman in high school i knew what i wanted to do, everyone for the next 4 years would be trying to decide what to do with there lives and I'm sitting here having it all figured out. I was gonna go into the military, Air Force, just like my dad, grandpa, and Great Grandpa. I was gonna be a soldier, make my parents proud, serve my country, looked up to, maybe be called a hero, I don't know. That was my dream, my goal and my plan. Well plans don't always work out. It started really that same year. I was planning on going into the special forces, specifically Special Forces Weather Apprentice (I'm huge into weather, talk about that later), but to do that you couldn't be color blind. Wellll that was a problem for me. For years i had been telling my parents i was partially color blind but they never believed me. I would call out a punch bug, "YELLOW PUNCH BUG!!" and i get, "honey thats green." For years it was like that but finally i showed em. i took some online tests and sure enough i was partially colorblind so there goes my first Air Force dream.

I didn't give up there, i thought i just want to serve my country anyway i can and make my dad proud, SF doesn't matter. So fast forward a couple years, I'm now a senior in high school. This is where it all begins. Ive got all my paperwork done for the air force, talked to the recruiter tons of times, and I am so excited. I am going down to Louisville MEPS (Military Entrance Processing Station) to swear in to the military!! So i get there, take the ASVAB, the military placement test, which I aced and then you wait......waiting.......waiting, ya its boring, and then you go to medical. The military then has to check you and ok you physically to go in. I go and everything is fine till i take my shoes off. Ok now I'm gonna take a step back. For awhile i had been dealing with athletes foot. Every summer it came then went, well this time it wasn't going but they didn't know that. So anyway I took my shoes off and they saw my athletes foot. They asked what it was and i told them and they simply replied just get rid of it before you leave for basic. AWESOME!!!!! I passed that and on Sept. 11, 2012 i swore into the Air Force. I was so ecstatic. I thought it was an easy ride from there, so i thought....

As the year goes by I can't get rid of the athletes foot, i go to the doctor and get medicines, doing home remedies, nothing is working. Finally the doc takes a skin sample and some weeks later it comes back its not necessarily athletes foot, it could be psoriasis or eczema but they can't really tell. Well just great. Well my dad still thinks its athletes foot cause he doesn't like doctors, i felt like my mom didn't know what to think but my dad talked to me and we decided not to tell my recruiter. We kept going, trying to get rid of it, doing home remedies for athletes foot and eczema now and nothing was working. it kept like that. we noticed the eczema stuff tended to work a little so we focused on that and it helped but it never fully went away. So now comes the time that I get my ship date, July 26th, 2013. Keep in mind its probably march or so by now. Im not gonna lie, i was worried but we still didn't tell my recruiter. We kept going and but the time July 26th came around my feet looked good but it was still there, small but still there. Well I don't know if it was my dad, me or what but i decided to go to try to leave anyway. I got back down to MEPS, nervous as hell, and guess what. Yep you guessed it, they noticed. I was sent home on the day i was supposed to leave for basic, the day i was supposed to start my life. Ya it was my fault I'm not gonna deny that but I was crushed, devastated. Not all hope was gone though, they told me that since i wasn't sure what it was they would get me with a doctor to figure it out and go from there ( I never told them what my doctor said because if I lied to them then I am disqualified). So i try to keep my hope up while coming back home to disappointed family and friends and wait. I waited so long and ya know what, the freaking doctor said it was eczema, no shit!!!! You believe it now dad!! I then learn that eczema is disqualifying in the military and once i again i was crushed. But wait, they still try to keep my hopes alive. They sent the case down to the head doctors of MEPS to vote on if i should stay in or not. I was anxious, frankly fed up with it all. My dreams were slowly slipping away and i didn't know what to do. Should i keep trying, find something new, i didn't know. Everyone kept telling me, "Don't give up on your dreams!" Well i found out its hard not to when your dreams aren't possible. So I waited longer, I think its November at this point. I was working at walmart for some cash, I just met my amazing girlfriend online ( ill talk about her later) and you guessed it, i was still waiting. Things were looking up in a matter of speaking, my dreams were still being crushed and i was still depressed but it was better, than i got the letter.    
I was DQ, disqualified, done with the Air Force. At this point i was already crushed, i was expecting the news and it didn't help at all. It hurt so bad hearing that. I didn't know what to do with my life. I didn't really want to go to college yet i loved weather and it was my passion. I just had no idea, no plan and if you know me well enough you know i hate not having a plan. I got so depressed but still managed to hide it, i made my parents think that i had already come to terms with it, my girlfriend had no idea, we were still in like our first week so it was still all the bubbly happy stuff. And ya know what, hiding it made it so much worse. Though that was partially true that i had already come to terms with it, it still hurt. What hurt worse is that they tried giving me more hope. My recruiter called and said that disqualification is only for 6 months, if you can get rid of it in 6 months then your good. I was done. I told my dad and mom i would still try a little but it was a lie, i was done. I had been trying to get rid of this shit for over a year and it wouldn't go away, and guess what, eczema is a life long thing. It sucks.

Ill continue later, sorry.

New to me.

I've never done this before so I apologize in advance. If anyone reading this is a grammar nazi than go away, I'm gonna make mistakes.

I just thought about this yesterday, i need a new way to release. Release how I feel, release anger, joy, anxiety, boredom, everything, and I didn't really know where or how to do it. Then i read a friends blog and it was amazing. She got me interested in her life, in her story and the thought occurred to me that why couldn't i do this! Though she is a writing major and has much better writing skills than I, it doesn't matter, I'm just here to release. So basically the point I'm getting to is that I'm pretty much gonna vent and tell about my life on here and if you wanna read into it your more than welcome to.